Last night I dreamed that Jen and I visited a theme park. The park itself was divided into sections, each built in a different style. We started in the "Farm Town" section of the park. It had wide, rolling hills with an occasional farm house or ranch. It was very beautiful and peaceful.
Unfortunately, the theme of the theme park was "Giant Monster Attacks!" Every 10-15 minutes, a giant monster would go rampaging through the park, attacking everyone. While we were exploring a ranch we got to experience our first attack. We heard a deafening roar behind us. We turned and saw Godzilla stomping towards the ranch. I like to think that if I was ever in a situation where I was attacked by a giant monster that I would be noble and try to save those around me, but what I learned is that I was filled with an all-consuming terror and a desperate desire for self preservation.
Everyone around us was screaming and running. I tried to remember if Godzilla would be attracted to movement or not. Should we stay still or run? I decided that I would rather take my chances in the screaming hordes of fleeing people than be the lone person standing in the open near Godzilla. I reasoned that if people were fleeing in every direction, what were the chances that Godzilla would go in the same direction that we chose to run?
Apparently the odds were pretty good. No matter which direction we ran, Godzilla seemed to home in on us. I wondered if I could buy some time by running in circles. Maybe, if its reflexes were slow enough, it would not be able to keep track of me. But then I realized that it was big enough that it would just step on me. I briefly considered trying to climb a tall fence to get away but quickly calculated that the fence only came up to Godzilla's knees.
At some point Jen and I got separated in the chaos. I think that was probably good news for Jen because really it looked like Godzilla was specifically tracking me. If Jen was not with me then she was likely safer. The only thing that ended up saving me was that Godzilla was easily distracted. When he reached a farm house he took some time to stomp it to oblivion. I used that valuable time to make my escape to another part of the park.
The exit to Farm Town led to two other sections of the park: "Game Day" and "The Suburbs". I looked over towards Game Day and I could see a large baseball park and a giant three-headed ape which shot lightning out of its mouths. I decided to head to The Suburbs.
The Suburbs was laid out like a little town. It had streets lined by picket-fenced homes with small yards. I saw a T-Rex rumbling down the street towards me, so I ducked into the nearest house hoping to find a place to hide. The house was filled with knick-knacks and curio cabinets. There were lots of crystal vases and china plates on the walls. The house was also filled with other people who were, like me, looking for a place to hide. Most of them were just crowded into the main rooms.
I remembered for sure that the T-Rex would be attracted by movement. I knew it was true because I got that information from watching a dinosaur documentary called Jurassic Park. So I thought that my best chance would be to find a small bedroom or closet with fewer people in it. I reasoned that if there were fewer people around then hopefully the T-Rex would be distracted by the large groups of people running and screaming elsewhere and not notice me.
It seemed like lots of other people had that same thought because in the bedrooms there was a person huddled behind almost every piece of furniture, no matter how small. Finally I located a dresser that was not occupied and I crouched behind it. I could hear the T-Rex tear through the outer wall of the house. People screamed and ran in all directions. The T-Rex crashed through interior walls and smashed furniture. It seemed to be enjoying itself. The curio cabinets and china plates made satisfying "crunch" sounds as they were ground into powder.
I knew that the T-Rex was coming for me so I decided to escape from The Suburbs while the T-Rex was distracted with destruction. I exited the home through a gaping hole in the wall and ran down the street to the next section of the park, which was called "Ninja Land".
Ninja Land was like a forest with small dirt paths leading through it. I followed one path until I came to a small ninja village which was surrounded by a wooden palisade. This looked promising! At least a defensive wall would provide some sort of protection against the monsters! I climbed up on top of the wall to help reinforce it. There was a ninja up there who was directing new-comers and telling us what to do. He asked me to get some wooden poles from a nearby pile and described to me how I should add them to the fortifications.
I was very excited to be part of a ninja defense team! While I walked over to the pile of poles I wondered if I also would be given shuriken and trained to use some ninja fighting techniques. When I arrived at the pile I saw that many of the poles were old and rotten. I grabbed some of them that were still new and strong and I carried them back to the wall. When I got there I realized that half of the poles in the palisade were brand new, strong poles and the rest were old, rotting poles.
The ninja in charge noticed my look of despair and told me not to worry. The defenses were purposefully made with half of the poles rotten because that would fool the other ninja clans. When they attacked they would not know which parts of the palisade were solid and which would just crumble when attacked. It seemed to me that it would be better to not have any of it crumble when attacked, but he just chuckled and shook his head at how naive I was about the ways of ninjas.
It suddenly registered with me that he had said that we were going to be attacked by opposing ninja clans. But we were also going to be attacked by giant monsters. I instantly realized that I had wandered into the worst part of the park. At that moment, dozens of enemy ninjas erupted from the trees around the village and started sprinting towards the palisade. They threw shuriken at us as they approached and I had to duck behind some of the more solid poles to avoid being hit. As if in sync with the ninjas, the T-Rex also burst from the trees at full speed headed towards me.
When the enemy ninjas reached the village wall, some of them were stopped because they hit the strong sections, but others were able to break right through because they came to the rotten sections. I still did not see how it was beneficial to have part of our defenses crumble immediately but I was too busy running for my life to really analyze it further. I fled towards the center of the village - away from the palisade, attacking ninjas, and the murderous T-Rex. There were shuriken flying everywhere and I tried to keep my head down while I ran. Those of us trying to defend the village were being herded into the main square. I saw no hope for escape. I feared that we were all going to be massacred.
Mercifully, my alarm went off and woke me up. That was not a restful sleep. I guess it is my own fault for recently watching Pacific Rim, Pacific Rim Uprising, Godzilla, and Naruto. O_o
One thing I can tell you for sure is that I will never again pay to enter a theme park based on Giant Monster Attacks!
Dreamed on 2/27/20
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