I dreamed that Jennifer and I were going on an expedition in Egypt.
I was describing to someone where we were headed by pointing at a globe. I wanted to say that we would be heading "southwest from Suez", but my brain couldn't come up with the word Suez so I said Cairo. And as I was about to say "southwest" it occurred to me that since I was facing the globe maybe my directions were backwards. So to get the directions from the globe's perspective I turned around and held out my right arm in the direction we would be traveling. Right arm means east, so I said "southeast from Cairo".
Immediately, a portly Egyptian wearing shorts and a t-shirt appeared to my right. He glanced at me disapprovingly and slowly shook his head in disgust as if to say, "You idiot!" I cringed, knowing that I had totally blown the directions, but tried to just move past my mistake as if it hadn't happened.
Once we arrived in Egypt, Jen and I found ourselves wandering through the desert. We were looking for a long lost oasis. It was extremely hot and dry as we trudged trough the miles of sand.
As we reached the top of a large dune, we could finally see the oasis on the other side. It was decorated as if for Christmas with colored lights strung between the palm trees. The small area around the oasis was filled with people all wearing coats and scarves. Some were even ice-skating on the frozen pond while Christmas music played from speakers.
We walked down the other side of the dune towards the little oasis Christmas village. As we got closer the sand under our feet slowly transitioned to snow and by the time we arrived at the edge of the festivities, we were stomping through deep snow.
Many of the people near us were having a snowball fight and that sounded like a fun way to relax after our journey through the desert, so Jen and I started to join in. We quickly realized, however, that all the people in this oasis had been brainwashed into thinking that snowball fights were meant to be won by making hard, icy snowballs and hurling them at 100 mph at other people's heads.
Some of my neighbors were there in the crowd that were attacking us, but they shall remain nameless to protect their identities. They had angry expressions on their faces and were trying their best to decapitate me with their murderous snowballs. Luckily, I had ninja-like reflexes and was able to dodge the most vicious of their attacks. Jen did not even seem phased by the snowballs and they would just bounce off her puffy coat.
Even with my amazing dodging skills, it seemed like I could not avoid death forever under that constant barrage. I thought that the best solution was to show everyone that snowball fights could be fun instead of deadly. I made nice, soft snowballs and I would lob them slowly at my brainwashed foes.
At first when they saw my feeble attacks they cackled evilly, but soon the cackles turned to real laughter and the brainwashing spell was broken. We then enjoyed a fun and festive snowball fight where nobody was murdered.
And that is how I saved Christmas.
Dreamed on 3/17/2020
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